Alternate Lyrics to Leonard Cohen's Suzanne

[Dutch Uncle]

As a parallel to the brilliant top 3 songs thread which I don't want to spoil, and just in case the worst happens tomorrow, I have penned the following alternate (and equally obscure) lyrics so that when I slit my wrist, at least everyone will know why.........

When Sean takes you down to his place near the lakeside.
You can hear the balls go by,
You can spend the match beside him.
And you know he's half crazy,
But that's why you want to be there.
And he feeds you tea and oranges that come all the way from Bournemouth.
And just when you mean to tell him that you have no goals to give him,
Then he gets you on his wavelength
And he lets the structures answer
That you've always been his striker.

And you want to travel with him,
And you want to travel blind,
And you know he will trust you,
For you've touched his tippy-tappy with your mind.

And Billy was a striker, when he walked upon the Keepmoat
And he spent a long time watching from his lonely Sheffield tower.
And when he knew for certain, only Donny men could see him,
He said: "All men will stay onside then, until the pass shall free them."
But he himself was broken
Long before Adkins would loan him,
Forsaken, almost human,
He sank beneath Southampton, like a stone

And you want to travel with him
And you want to travel blind
And you think maybe you'll trust him
For you've seen his perfect finish with your mind.

Now JR takes your hand and he leads you to the Keepmoat.
He's wearing scarves and banners from One Direction crowdfunds.
And the sun pours down like honey on our Master of the Remake.
And he shows you where to look, among the hedgefunds and the boybands.
There are heroes in the Keepmoat,
There are children in the midfield,
They are leaning out for love,
They will lean that way forever,
While the fans hold the mirror.

And you want to travel with them,
And you want to travel blind,
And you know you can trust them
For you've touched their perfect madness with your mind.


Edit: No agendas, and no disrespect meant to anyone in this attempt at humour.

[Marydene Rover]

As a long time Leonard Cohen fan ( saw him live in Sheffield in 1974) That is absolutely brilliant, you have made my day. Thank you xxx

[Sandy Lane]

This is brilliant, and I think it's lovely when you fellas make up songs about your beloved football club.