I've had a dream

[Bentley Bullet]

Dead vivid it was. I dreamt it was next Monday and I was in the canteen at work when the resident idiot Brendan the Blade walked in. He looked dismayed, which despite his team's 2-3 defeat to Rovers, was unusual for him as he normally shared an unfounded superiority complex like most Sheffield united fans. I put my head down and pretended that I hadn't seen him, but next thing he'd sat down at my table.

I looked up and asked him if he was alright. "Not really", he said. I explained that it was just a football match and that it didn't really matter that much, but he said "No it's not because you lucky gits beat us - My girlfriend's left me, and to make matters worse she's left me for a midget, a bl**dy MIDGET! She's broke my heart". I said " Never. I don't believe it.....how can she stoop so low"?

I tried to comfort him as best as I could, and told him that he'd soon get another bird. but I doubt I looked convincing, when all the time I was thinking that the fat bugger looks like he struggles to get into his own pants, never mind somebody else's.

He told me he'd started re-building his life by going to the quiz night at his local pub to try to find someone else. He said the last time he went the landlady handed him a quiz sheet and said "there you go Einstein". "It Sounds like she fancies you with a compliment like that", I said, trying to cheer him up. He said "Nah, I look now't like the Beatles manager".

Moving swiftly on I tried to console him by saying Billy Sharp's brace was impressive on Saturday, and the Blades would have won had it not been for the fantastic new Williams/N'Guessan partnership. He nodded in agreement and said that the result doesn't really matter anyway because at the end of the day 'little Donny' will always be little whereas Sheffield United will always be massive. "Bigger will always be better" he said.

I wonder if your ex agrees with you............I thought, while biting my lip! 


Sharp 4
N'Gussan 13
Williams 39

H.T.    Blades 1 Rovers 2

Williams 49
Sharp 87

Full time;

Blades 2  Rovers 3

[raggytash]

You work at tesco warehouse mate I know a Brendan the blade lol

[wing commander]

Haha let's hope this one comes true...lol

[DearneValleyRover]

Your talents are wasted BB, shame Jackanory isn't on anymore

[IDM]

shame Jackanory isn't on anymore

I thought you meant Dickov's post-defeat interviews there DVR...

[RobTheRover]

True story.

I was waiting for the lift at work today and chatting to one of my colleagues about the footy this weekend (he's a wendy) . We were on about the blunts v Rovers game,  when the lift arrived,  and in it was a guy delivering paper towels. We got into the lift,  didn't really give the guy a moments notice,  so carrying on our conversation my mate says "Are you going to the game then? ",  so I said "yeah,  can't miss a trip to bum hole lane". The delivery guy glances up at me,  then down. Then rolls up he's sleeves. On his left forearm is a blades badge tattoo. My mate and I looked at each other then burst out laughing. The guy smiles and says "I'll let you get away with that one"

I couldn't wait to get to my floor.

[Yorkiered]

shame Jackanory isn't on anymore

I thought you meant Dickov's post-defeat interviews there DVR...

Shouldn't that be post defeat INTERVIEW?
Correct me if I am wrong but didn't we only lose the one game under Dickov earlier this year when as per usual we was by far the better team and didn't deserve to lose?

[drfchound]

If i am understanding properly what you are saying then you are wrong.
We lost 3-0 at Port Vale and Dickov said that we were terrible and deserved to lose.
Apologies if i misunderstood what you were saying.

[Yorkiered]

I thought the story was about Bramall Lane?

[drfchound]

i thought your reply was a generalisation.