The Daily Mash

[silent majority]

Anybody have any great websites they like to visit? This is one of my favourites!!

https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/food/yorkshireman-fined-for-cutting-sandwich-diagonally-20230118230558

[SydneyRover]

The Betoota Advocate comes to mind SM.

https://www.betootaadvocate.com/

[turnbull for england]

On Instagram but this guy is funnyhttps://instagram.com/stories/stage_door_johnny/3022994197844024878?igshid=MDJmNzVkMjY=

[mugnapper]

I don't do Facebook but on Instagram I follow a guy called Troy Hawke.
He stands, uninvited, outside establishments in a smoking jacket and slacks, and 'greets' people in a posh accent as they go in. 
He stòod outside the Man City training ground and opened the door for Grealish and said 'You have a perfectly symmetrical face Sir'.
He greeted Haaland with 'Ooh you are a tremendous Nordic meat shield Sir'.
Another player was 'assisted'  with the words 'You have the gait of an apex predator Sir'.
When challenged, he explains he's been sent by  'Head Office' and is a member of the 'Greeters Guild'.
Makes me laugh anyway.

[ravenrover]

His boss is Jan Molby  :-]]

[i_ateallthepies]

Anybody have any great websites they like to visit? This is one of my favourites!!

https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/food/yorkshireman-fined-for-cutting-sandwich-diagonally-20230118230558

Don't like their Cookies policy, SM.  The 'Special Purposes' one which can't be refused allows targeting ads.  I will have to pass on that one.

[silent majority]

I don't do Facebook but on Instagram I follow a guy called Troy Hawke.
He stands, uninvited, outside establishments in a smoking jacket and slacks, and 'greets' people in a posh accent as they go in. 
He stòod outside the Man City training ground and opened the door for Grealish and said 'You have a perfectly symmetrical face Sir'.
He greeted Haaland with 'Ooh you are a tremendous Nordic meat shield Sir'.
Another player was 'assisted'  with the words 'You have the gait of an apex predator Sir'.
When challenged, he explains he's been sent by  'Head Office' and is a member of the 'Greeters Guild'.
Makes me laugh anyway.

I’ve seen that, very funny and odd at the same time.

[silent majority]

Anybody have any great websites they like to visit? This is one of my favourites!!

https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/food/yorkshireman-fined-for-cutting-sandwich-diagonally-20230118230558

Don't like their Cookies policy, SM.  The 'Special Purposes' one which can't be refused allows targeting ads.  I will have to pass on that one.

I got past that, just rejected them all.

Anyway, here’s the content;

A MAN from Batley has been given a substantial fine for cutting his bacon butty in a manner unbecoming of a Yorkshireman.

Plumber Norman Steele, 46, was today ordered to pay £600 with 120 hours of community service by a court in Halifax, with the judge describing it as ‘the worst case of a Yorkshireman getting funny ideas I have ever seen’.

Steele’s crime was discovered by his wife when she found him in the kitchen, not under the influence of alcohol or drugs, delicately slicing a sandwich from corner to corner.

Wife Barbara said: “I felt sick. His normal butty is a huge doorstep drowned in ketchup and eaten whole, but this was poncey wholemeal bread arranged neatly on a plate. I could tell it wasn’t the first diagonal sandwich he’d made.

“In all our years of marriage he’s been hiding a creative, sensitive side. I should have realised his head had been turned by fancy Southern ways when he wanted mayonnaise on his chips instead of gravy.

“I feel like such a fool. I’ve moved in with my parents while the divorce goes through.”

Judge Mary Fisher said: “Mr. Steele exhibited a blatant disregard for the bluff, tiresome ways of God’s Own County.

“However I rejected a custodial sentence because I believe Mr Steele was genuine in his desire to make a fresh start in life and not move on to more serious crimes such as focaccia with olives.”

[i_ateallthepies]

Thanks SM... but!  all a load of baloney, a PROPER Yorkshireman wouldn't be seen dead putting bloody ketchup on ANYTHING!

[ravenrover]

HP brown sauce, it's the ............

[silent majority]

Thanks SM... but!  all a load of baloney, a PROPER Yorkshireman wouldn't be seen dead putting bloody ketchup on ANYTHING!

Very true!!