M18 traffic

[mushRTID]

Anyone know what happened? Traffic was at a standstill for a good 20-30 minutes both directions.

[charleydrfc]

attempted suicide

[mushRTID]

Really? How do you know?

[charleydrfc]

traffic bobbys told us

[mushRTID]

The inconsiderate f**ker, I was dying for a piss!

[charleydrfc]

lol me to hence getting bollocked on the slip road

[Red wizard]

I drove past him. He was over the railings on the motorway bidge on Bawtry Road smoking a cig. Two coppers trying to talk him into coming back over the railings. Not heard anything else though.

[donnyjay]

Red wizard wrote:

I drove past him. He was over the railings on the motorway bidge on Bawtry Road smoking a cig.

Them things'll kill him if he's not careful.

[BillyStubbsTears]

donnyjay wrote:

Red wizard wrote:

I drove past him. He was over the railings on the motorway bidge on Bawtry Road smoking a cig.

Them things'll kill him if he's not careful.

Somebody pass me a Kleenex. I've just gobbed me Nastro Azzurro halfway across the room.

[donnyjay]

I hope that's a drink and not an euphemism.

[Filo]

Yep i saw him stood on the wrong side of the railings, stood over the inside lane, I know how much your windscreen gets smeared when you splatter those flies, so I moved over to the outside lane just in case

[RobTheRover]

donnyjay wrote:

I hope that's a drink and not an euphemism.

No, this is a euphemism



A1(8) or M1(8)

[DubaiRover]

Filo wrote:

Yep i saw him stood on the wrong side of the railings, stood over the inside lane, I know how much your windscreen gets smeared when you splatter those flies, so I moved over to the outside lane just in case

Surely he was on the right side for the task at hand?

[not on facebook]

recall when some chap was saying he was going to throw him sen
off the top of the bristish transport police offices just next to donny train satation years back.

this was on the day of a major racing event in donny so the taxi rank outside was rammed to say the least.

i was getting off train at donny and came out of enterance
and saw all the bobbys stood all over the shop with yer man on top of roof.

i went to near by red star parcells office where me mate was working and i had to laugh as the staff were all making score cards so they could mark the chaps fall/dive.

suppose thats what makes us brits different to rest of europe or world are sense of humour.

[Sandy Lane]

oslorovers wrote:

recall when some chap was saying he was going to throw him sen
off the top of the bristish transport police offices just next to donny train satation years back.

this was on the day of a major racing event in donny so the taxi rank outside was rammed to say the least.

i was getting off train at donny and came out of enterance
and saw all the bobbys stood all over the shop with yer man on top of roof.

i went to near by red star parcells office where me mate was working and i had to laugh as the staff were all making score cards so they could mark the chaps fall/dive.

suppose thats what makes us brits different to rest of europe or world are sense of humour.

I don't know if it's so different Oslo.  Imo I think it's more of a guy thing, although when I worked in the NY Legislature they used to have all night sessions toward the end of the legislative term to finish up outstanding work, and we working on staff would every year make bets on which Member would have a heart attack or die on the floor of the Chamber because the combo of late nights, booze, stress, general unhealthiness and being overweight inevitably led to it happening every session.  Happily though, I never won.  ;-)

[BillyStubbsTears]

I've a vague feeling that I've spouted off on this topic before, but it's worth airing again.

The late, great Eric Morecambe once said that there are only two sources of jokes.

The first is logic gone astray: the \"a man walked into a bar. Ouch. It was an iron bar,\" sort.

The second is a slipping of moral standards. Where we know how society expects us to react to a given scenario, but we turn it on its head and pretend we don't have a conscience. Donnyjay's quip was a classic of the genre.

We Brits have historically been masters of both approaches. The Goons, Tommy Cooper and Pythons set the standard for the first style, and The likes of Little Britain and League of Gentlemen are perfect examples from more recent times.

We are probably even more adept at the second type. Many of the most popular British comedians are bluntly straightforward in revelling in the offensiveness of slipped moral standards, from Bernard Manning and Chubby Brown through to Jimmy Carr and Frankie Boyle.

Personally, I prefer my humour to come with a little more subtlty so that the rapier punchline is even more unexpected. Daniel Kitson's stand up sketch on the possibility of having \"No cnuts\" carriages on trains for example which perfectly combines both genres.

[RobTheRover]

I take it you have watched \"The Aristocrats\", mate?

[BillyStubbsTears]

Is that the one with Thomas O'Malley, The Alley Cat?

See, that's a perfect example of logic gone awry. What self-respecting bloke would give his last meatball to a lass?

[Donnywolf]

... has the same bloke been at it again on Bust Station this morning?

That is threatening to jump. Town sealed off at 4 am accoding to TraxFM . AND an individual talked down and then detained under the Mental Health Act

[Filo]

I don`t know why they waste police resources on people like that, if he wants to jump, let him, he won`t do it again!

[MrFrost]

DONNYWOLF wrote:

... has the same bloke been at it again on Bust Station this morning?

That is threatening to jump. Town sealed off at 4 am accoding to TraxFM . AND an individual talked down and then detained under the Mental Health Act

Bust Station? Where's that? I fancy a visit!

[Nudga]

MrFrost wrote:

DONNYWOLF wrote:

... has the same bloke been at it again on Bust Station this morning?

That is threatening to jump. Town sealed off at 4 am accoding to TraxFM . AND an individual talked down and then detained under the Mental Health Act

Bust Station? Where's that? I fancy a visit!

That'll be at my house, our lasses norks are feckin hooj.

[Sheepskin Stu]

You can't make extravagant claims like that Nudga without photographic evidence.

[Filo]

Sheepskin Stu wrote:

You can't make extravagant claims like that Nudga without photographic evidence.

Totally agree

[Nudga]

Perverts! Just asked my missus and she said you can all knackers. Sorry chaps, I did ask.

[Filo]

Nudga wrote:

Perverts! Just asked my missus and she said you can all knackers. Sorry chaps, I did ask.

I bet she`s really got 2 fried eggs  

[Nudga]

Filo wrote:

Nudga wrote:

Perverts! Just asked my missus and she said you can all knackers. Sorry chaps, I did ask.

I bet she`s really got 2 fried eggs  

Aye, raisens on a bread bin. NOT

[Sheepskin Stu]

How about doing a nice arty shot with a bit of soft focus? No nudity. Identities can be hidden for this purpose.

We could start a new thread with our own spouses...

[Nudga]

Sheepskin Stu wrote:

How about doing a nice arty shot with a bit of soft focus? No nudity. Identities can be hidden for this purpose.

We could start a new thread with our own spouses...

We would obviously need a sticky. Fnaar fnaar.

[Filo]

Don`t ask her, catch her unaware`s!