The day she walked down the aisle

[CusworthRovers]

I'll never forget that special day. There she was walking down the aisle towards me, I knew she belonged to me. I was getting excited and my heart was racing faster. I wanted her to move quicker. I wanted it to happen so bad. 'Get up this aisle my love, get up this bloody aisle' I was muttering under my breath. Eventually she was stood right next to me. It was a breathtaking moment. I gave her a wink and a nice smile and said 'get those 2 last boxes of Stella in that trolley fatty, they're buy one get one free'

[jucyberry]

Here's one for you Cussie.....

Three old ladies named Gertrude, Maude and Tilly were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flahser approached from across the park.
The flasher came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.
Gertrude immediately had a stroke.
Then Maude also had a stroke.



But Tilly, bless her heart, being older and more feeble, couldn't quite reach that far.

[CusworthRovers]

Took my terminally ill friend to Switzerland for an assisted suicide. Just got there for brekkie where the sick chuffs were serving cheerios