Jokes

[bahrain rover]

I am with NOF. I read and re read the landmine joke, but it totally loses me.

[NickDRFC]

Not very close...good job because his dad stepped on a land mine, had they been close he'd have been a goner too.

[not on facebook]

Not very close...good job because his dad stepped on a land mine, had they been close he'd have been a goner too.

Well if a joke has to be explained it's not funny sorry to say.

Thought it was just me and thank god Bahrain rover was on the same page .

[Bentley Bullet]

Prince Harry says he doesn't want the usual fruit cake at his wedding.
Prince Philip says he doesn't give a toss, he's still going.

[kennorover]

A mate of mine had a lifelong ambition to be run over by a steam train.
When it finally happened he was chuffed to bits.

[drfchound]

Not very close...good job because his dad stepped on a land mine, had they been close he'd have been a goner too.

Well if a joke has to be explained it's not funny sorry to say.

Thought it was just me and thank god Bahrain rover was on the same page .

No doubt that people with a sense of humour found it funny.

[bahrain rover]

I didn't and I have a wicked sense of humor.

[Monkcaster_Rover]

My doctor's just told me they've found a cure for dyslexia. It was music to my arse.

Laughed out loud at work at this. Cheers.

[roversdude]

I must be really warped as I got it
Loved the doctor one

[ravenrover]

after making love all night the chap says to his wife
why dont you tell me when you have an orgasm
her reply I dont like ringing you when you are at work

[Bentley Bullet]

Bruiser from next door collared me last night, said I'd been pinching washing off of his line.

I nearly shit his pants.

[Not Now Kato]

How do you milk sheep?
 
 
 
 
Bring out a new i-phone and charge £1000 for it.

[Metalmicky]

Apparently there's a new sex position called parcel force.

 ..... you stay in all day and no-one comes...

[Metalmicky]

Went to the sperm clinic earlier.

 The lady asked if I'd like to masturbate in the cup?

 I said...... "I'm good but not ready for competitions yet".....

[Metalmicky]

Bought my wife a fridge for her birthday.

... You should have seen her face light up when she opened it.

[drfchound]

My pal works in a chocolate wrapping department in a food factory.
He put some chocolate bars in the wrong wrappers.
His boss got his snickers in a twix.

[eastender]

 Q) What's Green , got 6 legs and wears a tartan scarf.




























A) Rupert the Snooker Table

 

[tommy toes]

There's this old dyslexic Rovers supporter. Alwayes goes to games wearing his cat flap.

[turnbull for england]

I cant wear designer polo shirts as they make me ill

Im lacoste intolerant

[Bentley Bullet]

IT’S A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, IT’S A BOY"

And with tears streaming down my face I swore I'd never visit another Thai Brothel!!!

[Bentley Bullet]

Q) What do you call a basement full of shandy drinking, Lily-livered, namby-pamby, powder puff, snowflake, lefty do-gooder Jessies?

A) A whine cellar.

[RedJ]

What do you call someone who continually moans about anyone who has a different opinion?

A right whinge.

[Glyn_Wigley]

Q: What's the difference between BB's 'jokes' and a barrel full of shit?

A: The barrel.

[Bentley Bullet]

f**king hell, even Redj didn't 'like' that one!

 Anyway, what do you call someone who can ad-lib a reply in just an hour and a half?

Mr Wiggerly!

.....Mind you, he did use a bloody very, very, very old joke!

[Glyn_Wigley]

At least it was a joke. And it took you nearly an hour to adlib and point that out.

[Bentley Bullet]

Mr Wiggerly, your 'joke' was embarrassing really though, wasn't it? Anyway, forget that. You really should take on board the fact that I have bigger fish to fry than talk to a silly self-obsessed lefty on a forum with just a handful of likewise lefties.

[turnbull for england]

An old lady asked  if I would help check her balance at a cashpoint.  So i pushed her over

[tommy toes]

The anti lefties should really take the time to read Citizen Clem by John Bew.
They then might realise just what we all owe to people like Attlee and the socialist movement.

[Glyn_Wigley]

Mr Wiggerly, your 'joke' was embarrassing really though, wasn't it? Anyway, forget that. You really should take on board the fact that I have bigger fish to fry than talk to a silly self-obsessed lefty on a forum with just a handful of likewise lefties.

But not big enough fish to fry to keep you from spouting shite 'jokes' about lefties, it seems!

Glad you thought my joke embarrassed you, though. But, as you say, forget that.

[idler]

I think that the only time that I have seen you Glyn was some years ago at a VSC AGM.
You were sat slumped in a chair looking like Harry Enfield's character Kevin, totally disinterested to the eye. At one point someone in the audience had a question and somebody on the top table referred it to you to answer. Your demeanour was just the same disinterested and curt. You didn't look as if you were capable of a smile never mind a joke. Possibly you were having a bad day and I am doing you a disservice but you certainly seem more Jack Dee than Peter Kay.